I’ve Killed Myself Yet Again.
We all have several different versions of ourselves within us. We carry them along wherever we go. We keep some hidden from the rest of the world, make some public, hate some, love some and then there are some we don’t even know existed. At some point while growing up we decide which self to stick with. The rest usually get buried over time.
I’ve, however, lived several of these selfs over the last 26 years and killed them when I was ready to move on to something else. I’ve become okay with the idea of dropping-out. I’ve realized that I will have to raise and kill many more to grow exponentially.
My victims so far:
- Amit, the kid who wanted to be a bus-conductor (trust me, it had to be done.)
- Amit, the teenager who wanted to be an astronaut.
- Amit, the aerospace engineer.
- Amit, the MBA student.
All of them dead before 26.
So, in some sense you can call me a serial-killer. But this collateral damage was essential for the growth of the new Amit, the executive project coordinator at a budding start-up in Chile who gave up a shot at 6-figure corporate job for something more exciting. I do not know how long this Amit will live. He too will have to be killed one day to make room for another Amit. And that will be a very good thing indeed.
I can already imagine some readers raising the argument about me having an identity crisis of sorts or not being able to make up my mind. And they are correct. You show me one person who think he/she has figured it all out, and I’ll show you an idiot. Often we pick a self we think will be successful, acceptable and generally liked and carry on with it for the rest of our lives as if it is our mission. Completely ignoring that perhaps the best natural self might still be hidden within us.
We have to resist the temptation of getting comfortable with what we do. Killing off different Amits didn’t kill who I was on the inside. It only brought out the real me even more. It shaped my moral fiber. It sculpted and carved me to the bone and helped me define myself before my circumstances defined me.
The future belongs to the ones who are not afraid to turn off the switch on themselves. It almost sounds counter-intuitive when I talk about giving up jobs, huge paycheck, scholarships or relationships that some people spend their whole lives chasing. However, for true personal growth it is absolutely vital to do so.
And in that spirit, I am also ending one chapter of Fishing Buddha and beginning a new one. Fishing Buddha is here to stay and I will continue to write however there will be several new additions coming up that will make it more than just a personal blog. I will reveal those new ideas from a brand new continent of South America. I fly out tomorrow night. So next time we meet, it will be from a new hemisphere, new country and a new spirit.
Thanks for all your love and support. I invite you to continue this endless story called Life with me from Chile.
This post was inspired by a recent article by, Ryan Holiday.
Aug
15
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